Chris Getz, the architect of this mess. | Michael Reaves/Getty Images

I hate to admit it, but I must

Nothing tickles me more than a good turn of phrase, as a former literature major and chronic over-writer. Metaphors and aphorisms abound in my brain, and I have trouble resisting all but the worst puns a conversation might generate.

One of my favorite such turns of phrase goes Illegitimi Non Carborundum. It sounds profound, because it’s in Latin. But it’s not profound. It’s not even a real sentence. Those aren’t actually Latin words. It’s gibberish. A bunch of soldiers

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